New Telephone Greeting...

At work I wear a coat of many colors... I am on the phone ALOT...
I would like to go in Monday and implement my new telephone greeting..


"GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA."
" Press '1' if you speak English"...
" Press '2' to disconnect till you can"...

Whuddya think?? Think it will fly??

Another Book You WON'T Find On Amazon...

YOU HURR ME ll

Errybody wanna piece of muh cheekin....You Hurr Me??
I gotsa pan...I gotsa plan...

I gots sum hot grease and a whole cheekin..
Go an wash ur hands cuz yur gunna bea licken um.

Southern fried cheekin.. finger lickin, It's real sticken...

Muh fried cheekin gunna take you ovah!!
You Hurr Me??
You like the wing, yup...
You like the thigh, yup..
You like the white meat, yup..
You like the leg, yup...

YOU HURR ME??

NOW...ONCE AGAIN...GO HERE DAMNIT!! Ms. Peachez

Gimme one wish damnit...

It's TOTALLY beyond me why NOONE commented on the 'Lilly transformation' post... Her and I thought it was funny as hell...Well...IF you didn't think that was funny, you prolly won't think this is either..'YOU HURR ME'??

Lilly waits for her transformation...

Lilly is patiently waiting in MAYBERRY at the "Hair World" salon for her transformation into LILLIAN...Ya notice her 'DEW' and 'DO-RAG'?? She does Pac proud.... Ummm... would YOU consider Lilly/Lillian a.... WALK IN??

YOU HURR ME??

Iffen ya wanna have a helluva good laugh, LOOKIE HURR..
Ms. Peachez YOU HURR ME??
AND... Iffen THAT ain't nuff fer ya...LOOKIE HURR..
MORE Ms. Peachez YA HURR ME??


Lilly and I isa havein WAYYYY to much fun with this...YA HURR ME??

Poor Peetie...

My Poor Peetie is slowly realizing that NOTHING is sacred around here... haha...
She can't even take a dump without my camera in her face...

????

WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE??????

A Book You WON'T Find on Amazon...

Ho-tographer, that is!

My new pet..

Eyeball ll

Here's your new post Eyeball!! THIS is the pretzel makin warehouse here in the ghetto.. Gottsa keep it on the down low ya know..Come join me..

I'm Innocent!!

I was FREE.. Running 'Pretty Patsy's Pretzel Parlor' and doing quite well, I might add..
My downfall was, Lilly was allready in jail and asked me to contact this certain bondsman..WELL... In doing what I DO with these pretzels, I invited him to my place... I pleasured him with pretzels like he has NEVER been pleasured.. I went so far as to bake up a new batch...JUST FOR HIM..
Well, after allowing me to have my way with him, he threw my ass in the slammer. Go figure!

News is he's got some beotch from South Park runnin the place now!!..

Good news is, I am in the cell next to Lilly's... MORE GOOD NEWS IS... I have LOTS of pretzels with me...
Now, her's my dilemma.. Lilly keeps begging for pretzels... BEGGING I tell ya.. I don't know how long I will be here in the slammer so don't know how long my supply will last...
She is 'pretzeling' anyone and everyone... up to and including The Warden!!

You my friends must help me decide whether to give up my pretzels or start my own 'in house' business..

Granny's gone a South Parkin!

Not bad fer a beginner huh Lilly?? Now get me OUT of this fucking straight jacket..

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait at the LAX airport..

The first lady was an arrogant California married to a wealthy man...

The second was a well mannered elderly lady from the south..

When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, " When my first child was born, my husban built a beautiful mansion for me"

The lady from the South said, " Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, " When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."

Again, the lady from the South said, " Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued boasting, " When my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, " Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, " What did your husband buy you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady...

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, " Oh my God! What on earth for?" said the first woman...

The southern lady responded, " Well for example, instead of saying, Who gives a shit? I learned to say, Well, isn't that precious....

I found it!!

How many times have we been "up there without one!!"

Petie Pocket Says...

"will she EVER stop!!"

Time to give up my mini-skirts...

Granny LOVES pretzels!!