Oh My!!.

What did y'all watch on Thanksgiving?? : )

Florida Tom..

BEFORE:



In Florida our 'Birds' are a tad different than everywhere else...Doncha agree??
AFTER:

Poor Gobble Gobble..

Along with most everyone I know, I will be stuffing stuff up my birds butt, sometime tonight after I get off work..

My wish for you, my friends, is a wonderful Thanksgiving...
I have so much to be Thankful for this year.

Have a GREAT and BLESSED Thanksgiving ya'll...

Rednecks!! Gotsa Love Um..

TRUE FRIENDSHIP!

This is so touching; I'm holding back the tears...
See if you don't agree..

Are you tired of those sissy-ass 'friendship' poems that always sound good but, never actually come close to reality?? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship...

1) When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastards that made you sad...

2) When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you...

3) When you smile - I will know you finally got laid..

4) When you are scared - I will rag on you every chance I get...

5) When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whinning...

6) When you are confused - I will use little words...

7) When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.I don't want whatever you have...

8) When you fall - I will point and laugh at your crazy ass...

9) This is my oath - I pledge to the end. " Why " you may ask, " because you are my friend"

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed cause you can only think of 4..

Remember .... A good friend will help you move... A REALLY good friend will help you move a body... Let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel...

Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth...

One Minute...

As we grow older, we learn that even the one person that wasn't ever suppose to let you down, probably will...

We will have our heart broken more than once and it's harder every time...

We will break hearts too, so we need to remember how it felt when ours was broken..

We'll fight with our best friend..

We'll blame a new love for something an old love did...

We'll cry because time is passing to fast, and we'll eventually lose someone we love...

So, take to many pictures, laugh to much and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds we spend upset is a minute of happiness we'll never get back...

Bobbit Hillbillies

Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John..
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone-
It seems one night after getting with the wife
She Lopped off his Dong with the swipe of a knife...
PENIS, that is..
Clean Cut..
Missed His Nuts..

Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride...
She soon got tired of her purple- headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she came around the bend...

CURVE, That is
Tossed The Nub
In The Shrub...

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack..
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back..
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air..

FOUND, That is..
By a fence...
Evidence..

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart to long..
So, a Dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong."
A needle and a thread is all were gonna need...
And the whole world waited 'till they heard that Johnny peed..

WHIZZED, That is..
Even seam..
Straight stream...

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court...
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short..
They cleared her of assult and acquitted him of rape...
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape..

VIDEO, That is...
Unexposed..
Case Closed..

Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now...

Ya Hear..

Never Trust Little Old Lady's ...

A young man shopping in a supermarket
noticed a little old lady following him around...
If he stopped, she stopped...
Furthermore she kept staring at him..
She finally over took him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,
" I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son"
He answered, " that's ok"

" I know it's silly, but if you'd call out " Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me so happy"..
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store,
the man called out, " Good bye Mom".
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him...

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someones day, he went to pay for his groceries...
" That comes to $121.85, " said the clerk...
" How come so much... I only bought five items."

The clerk replied, " Yeah but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."

Meet Ruby..

This is what I gave for gas today AND.. THIS is what I'm now putting it in... This is my Ruby... Yayyyyyyyy...

A Monarch??

Mm'Kay!!